I'm gonna tell mom.....

Four short words that can bring an aggressor to heel, be used to taunt, or incite a wrath beyond belief. For those of us whose parents felt that one child wasn't enough, or just plain forgot how to use birth control, we all know that this short statement can mean.

In fact, if you look on this blog you'll see that I've recently had this said to me, and I'm in my late twenties. I'd venture to say that within every blood brood, it takes on different meanings.

It's interesting really, but you don't hear in many families (and certainly not mine) "I'm gonna tell dad." Maybe it's because dad isn't around, or isn't interested, but I think (not being a father myself) that it has more to do with the male mentality of letting people (mostly guys) sort it out for themselves. It's the 'don't cry to me attitude'. Don't get me wrong, I think fathers are compassionate, caring and willing to correct a wrong or settle a dispute, but I also think (at least in my experience, that you're also more likely to get in trouble yourself if you go to dad.

It's our instinctual nature as children that we know we're going to get more support, and sympathy from good old mom by telling on big sister for disturbing our calm. I know in my family, whenever my brothers and I get into arguments or "discussions" and mother is around, (and it seems more true now that we've all moved out of her house), that she steps in to settle the dispute.

Invoking the I'm gonna tell mom card requires some very careful consideration. The fact of the matter is that at some point in our lives our siblings with get some dirt on us that can be used against us. Really, when it gets down to it, you're giving up your rights to a cleaner. What incentive does big brother have not to blow your cover or reveal your secrets to the 'rents when you're willing to sell them out on a moments notice?

Now I know, that in my family I'm holding all the cards. Sure I have eight years on my next brother, which gives me a significantly longer time to start collecting dirt to put in my back pocket, but it also means I'm way ahead of the game with them on deception. They'd be working our tricks I had figured out eight years ago, and only sometimes would I be willing to share trade secrets. They were after all hard earned, and it seems I was so easily sold out.

That's not to say that older siblings are always ahead, in fact I'd bet that in most families the cards are more evenly dealt. Parents are routine, they go to bed at certain times, but little brothers and sisters could be roaming the house or trying to watch a little more TV late at night, and catch you in the act. I'd say that being younger they're all the more happy to have caught big brother out on a limb, and often a high, irrational price must be paid for their silence.

I'm actually reminded of the series finale for Malcolm in the Middle, where the three brothers, Malcolm, Reese and Dewey, stand around and prepare to destroy "the nuclear option". should its existence be revealed, the consequences visited upon them by their mother, Lois, would destroy them all.

So to those siblings who are still willing to lay it all on the line. Just remember who knows where all the skeletons are buried.

oh, and this:

is my brother.

I didn't have to "tell mom" about this one.
It made national news.